How Katrina went from low desire and hour-long foreplay to enjoying sex on her own terms again
The beginning
I used to be the kind of person who was ready all the time. Quick to get turned on, easy to get there. But that was ten years ago — and somewhere between then and now, my body stopped cooperating.
When I met my partner, Jeff, I told myself it was just stress. Then I thought it was my old relationship — being unhappy with someone could do that, couldn’t it? Then I thought it was the weight I’d put on during COVID, which had affected my confidence. Then I started Latuda, an medication I take for depression, and I assumed that was finally it.
So I left the old relationship. I lost 20 pounds. I even tried coming off the medication. None of it moved the needle.
“I thought it was my old relationship. Then the weight. Then the medication. I tried fixing all of it. None of it brought back my mojo.”
— Katrina
Jeff and I fell into a rhythm that worked — at first. Before we moved in together, we had dedicated date nights and the newness of things helped. I have responsive desire, so an attentive partner and time set aside went a long way. But about 6 months after we moved in together, weekday evenings stopped feeling like opportunities. I was a perioperative nurse coming off long shifts. I wanted to get the housework done, snuggle on the sofa, and go to sleep. Sex had become something he had to ask for and I had to be talked into. And getting there took so long — an hour of foreplay, a whole evening planned around it — that I was always half in my head even when I was willing.
We started fighting about it. I wanted it once a week at most, and he had to initiate. He wanted it closer to every day, and for me to initiate too sometimes.
Finally, Jeff sat me down and confided in me that he felt undesired. He wanted to work together to find a solution.
I love him. I wanted this relationship to work. And I missed it too — missed wanting it, missed what it felt like when sex was something I could just tap into. I wanted us to find something that worked for us both.
Finding Mojo
I wasn’t searching the internet for solutions. A psychiatrist found them for me.
I’d been weighing whether to come off Latuda to see if it would help. She said she knew of something for women experiencing sexual side effects from medication, and she thought I might be a good fit. What clinched it for me was this: I wouldn’t have to give up my medication. Latuda genuinely helps my depression, and the idea of trading mental stability for my sex drive was not a trade I wanted to make. Here was a path that didn’t ask me to choose. A course and a cream. It sounded worth a shot.
The course
I thought all of the benefits were mostly going to come from the Oh! Cream. I was wrong.
The Rebuild Your Orgasm course paired the Oh! Cream with mindfulness, breathing exercises, erotic audio content, and more. I’m a nurse; I understand mind-body research. But I still hadn’t expected it to be so effective, so quickly. The biggest surprise came early: the erotic audio stories.
My first reaction was, a therapist and an OB-GYN are recommending listening to smut?! Jeff and I found this so funny. I tried one anyway. I loved it — and so did Jeff. That initial skepticism sent us off on a tangent we’re still on. We started listening to spicy audiobooks together. Dragon smut, specifically. I know how that sounds. It is genuinely one of the best things we’ve added to our relationship.
“I thought: this is weird that medical people are telling me to listen to this. But it was really super helpful.”
— Katrina
The other turning point was scheduling sex. For someone like me, with a packed schedule and a brain that won’t stop making to-do lists, having the time blocked out meant I didn’t have to talk myself into it. I could actually focus and build anticipation. Jeff knew it was coming, so he wasn’t anxious about whether it would happen. We could both relax.
Now we call it Sexploration Sundays — one afternoon a week, calendar blocked, nothing else to get done. We use that time to try something new: a toy, an audiobook, a position, always with the cream. The mindfulness exercises get me out of my head and into my body, and that’s most of the work. When I do them properly, the difference is palpable. When I skip them and just try anyway, I can feel exactly what’s missing.
The Oh! Cream
I’d used warming, tingly lubes before and found them distracting — it wasn’t a sensation for me. When I felt the first tingle, my internal reaction was: oh no.
I committed anyway. I’m so glad I did.
Once Jeff got involved and the cream started working properly — deeper than surface-level tingling — it clicked. By the third time, I was excited before we’d even started. Hell yeah, we’re using the cream tonight.
What it actually changed was time. Before, we’d spend an hour on foreplay just to get me where I needed to be. With the cream, I’m often ready in ten minutes. When you’re tired after a long shift and the choice is between an hour of build-up or just getting right to it — it’s the difference between yes and no. It’s the perfect shortcut.
Where things are now
My sex life has gone from a five to an eight. My body confidence has too. I lost the weight I’d been carrying since COVID, but the bigger shift is the physical connection that comes with regular, enthusiastic sex. That changes how you feel in your own skin.
The fighting that used to happen around frequency? Gone. Jeff doesn’t feel undesired anymore. I’m not carrying the guilt of always being the one who says not tonight. We have a ritual now — one we both look forward to — and it’s spilled into other parts of how we spend time together. We take long baths together. We always have a shared spicy audiobook series. It sounds a little ridiculous, but I wouldn’t trade it.
“It’s increased my excitement and confidence in being sexual with him. It’s made it something we can be intentional about. We have tools now.”
— Katrina
I’m more emotionally regulated too. Physical connection — whether sexual or just closeness — is something I genuinely need. Having tools to make sex accessible and something to look forward to has changed the whole texture of our relationship.
If you’re reading this because something resonates — because you’ve been through your own list of life changes and find yourself wondering which one screwed up your sex life, and struggling to fix it — I want you to know it does get better. And you don’t have to sacrifice the medication that’s helping the rest of you. I found that out the hard way, and then eventually found a better way.
This is one member's personal experience. Individual results vary, and this story is not medical advice. Changes in desire, arousal, or orgasm can have medical causes — including as a side effect of medication such as antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication. If you've noticed a change like this, especially after starting a new medication, speak to your doctor or prescriber before making changes. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional about persistent concerns.
Mojo aims to provide useful wellbeing resources to its users; however, you should not solely rely on opinions or advice available on the Website or given by the Community. Always seek advice from a qualified medical doctor or other healthcare professional before acting.
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