How Susan went from fading orgasms to enjoying dating in New York again

The beginning

I didn't notice it happening at first. My orgasms were still there — they just weren't as good as they used to be, and I couldn't tell you exactly when that started. It wasn't until an ad stopped me mid-scroll that I realized how long I'd let it slide.

I’m 50, and my sensation and orgasm had been fading for a while. I hadn't been keeping score; I don't think I was even fully aware of the decline until Mojo’s app kind of enlightened me. Looking back, though, it had been going on for a while.

During sex, my mind was wandering. I was there, but not really there — thinking about everything else going on in my life instead of what was actually happening in front of me. It wasn't a body-confidence thing. I've always felt pretty good about myself, probably an 8 out of 10 during partnered sex even before any of this.

But I had a busy life. I’m an actress, I’m actively dating, I have a rich social life with lot of friends and family, and I have hobbies. As the volume on sex got turned down, it was easy to be somewhere else entirely while it was happening, and that made it harder to finish.

Finding Mojo

I found Mojo the way I find most things — scrolling. I saw it and thought, oh my God, I've got to read about this. I wasn't out there actively looking for a solution; it was seeing a post from Dr Laurie Mintz [sex therapist, bestselling author of Becoming Cliterate, and course leader of Find Your Orgasm] that made me realize, actually, now that I think about it, this has been an issue for a while.

I signed up feeling excited.

The course

I went through Find Your Orgasm pretty much in order, and I learned much more than I expected, even with as much as I thought I already knew about my own body. I didn't think would be the case at this point in my life.

The way the course was laid out was really clever to me. As each lesson and exercise fell into place, it joined to become a bigger picture so that when I spoke to the AI coach about it, they’d have these insights which would just blow my mind.

For example, learned all this stuff about culture’s impact on how we view sex and women, and then did the exercise where I looked at a big range of diverse vulvas, and then I discussed it with the coach and really unpacked any shame or discomfort about that. It was great!

Two parts really stood out to me. The anatomy module went into more detail about my own body than I expected to still be learning. I thought you had your external clitoris and really, that was it. Turns out there was way more potential for pleasure to be had there.

And then there was the module about bringing things into partnered sex, specifically the part about actually talking to a partner about sex. I'd never really thought to prioritize that before. I just think it's really cool to be able to sit down and talk about it, outside of actually doing it. It makes you feel more connected.

I'd always kept the conversation and the act pretty separate; now I think of talking about it as its own kind of intimacy. Something worth doing outside the bedroom, before or after, not just during. It’s certainly made dating more interesting!

Where things are now

The biggest difference isn't really about my orgasm, to be honest. It's how comfortable I feel with the whole subject of sex now. It made it so comfortable, so normalized.

That's shown up in how open I am on dates, too. It makes you feel like there's less walls, less barriers, more ability to be vulnerable with someone new. My confidence during partnered sex, which I'd have put at an 8 out of 10 before, is almost a 10 now.

Some of that's come from elsewhere in my life, too. Alongside the course, I've been training in boxing at a competitive level, and it's changed my life in ways I can't fully explain. It's a whole mind-body thing — my entire body's changed, reshaped, it's crazy. That's not due to Mojo, but the fact they happened at the same time definitely made each feel more powerful. I feel more at home in my body, in and out of the bedroom.

If I could tell other women one thing, it's to stop putting this at the bottom of the list. Start focusing on yourself. Get out of your head and just take the time to enjoy life, including sex, to its fullest.

I'd especially want to reach anyone who's gone a long stretch without really enjoying sex. I met a woman recently who hadn't had sex in six years, and it's exactly people like her I'm thinking of. Just be open. Be open to receiving this wisdom.

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This is one member's personal experience. Individual results vary, and this story is not medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional about persistent concerns.

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